Why We Sometimes Have Prime Dates Available

Sometimes it happens… I get the short notice call about a prime date.  Those dates are typically in October, November, March and April.  In Arizona, those are the months with predictably nice weather.  It would normally be unusual for us (or any venue for that matter) to have dates in these months open with short notice.

At Virginia’s House, we do things a little differently.  We allow you to move your event date without losing any deposits.  You are able to move your date to another date within a year of the original scheduled date.  There is no penalty for this and all of your payments and deposits will follow you to your new date.  From what I can gather – we’re the only venue in town that does this.  We just think it’s good business.  It’s even better karma.

We live in a real household with a real family with real life things that get in the way.  Our assumption is that our brides do, too.  We’ve had couples who lost their jobs, were in horrific car accidents or had family members with frightening and sometimes terminal illnesses.  The dates don’t always get pushed back, sometimes they get moved forward.

So… if you see that our venue is “dark” on a prime date – it’s because we exercise grace and opt to help our couples out.  And sometimes that comes at the expense of not rebooking that date.  It’s a risk I’m willing to take for those who love deeply.

When Venues Close

It’s happened yet again.  A wedding venue has closed right as the spring season is upon us.  I’m not sure why it affects me the way it does – less competition for me, right?  Sure, but there’s more…there are some very sweet brides and doting grooms that just had their worlds rocked.  And that’s not okay.

Because I’m the curious type, I searched the name of the venue that closed.  It’s beautiful.  Absolutely.  I’ve admired it since it opened about two years ago.  But looking at the reviews online, I’m wondering why people who clearly don’t like people get in the people business?  It seems counter-intuitive to me.  If I even had one bad review online, I wouldn’t be able to sleep until I got it right, then made it right for that reviewer.

The rule of starting your own business is “find something you love to do and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.” The addendum to that is… do something you would do, even if you weren’t getting paid to do it.  That’s a reality.  A cold hard fact.  There were many years in the beginning that we put more money in that we got out.  But it was my dream and I loved it.  And that trumped the make-a-million-dollars-by-the-time-I’m-35-years-old-thing.  Every. Single. Day.  And nearly 15 years later – I’m still doing what I love.

I’ve been in business since 1998.  My paperwork says 1997, that’s when everything was filed, but the first bride I sent down the aisle was November 7, 1998.  We made some mistakes.  We had some kinks.  But we also did everything in our power to make that bride feel as special as we could.  And that’s something we’ve done every day since.

I had “wedding professionals” early on tell me that I would “fail quickly” because I refused to be like everyone else.  I didn’t want to charge too much, charge extra for every little thing, nickel and dime people to death, then tack on fees, taxes and gratuities.  To those who doubted me… I’m still here.  And I still don’t charge extra fees.  I even eat the tax.  The bookkeeping and awkward conversations are not worth it to me.  I’m flexible, I’m personal and I care.  Really.  Once again… I’m still here.

I’m not saying we’re perfect – we’re definitely not.  But I’ve met some of the most amazing couples and their families that have enriched my life more than I could ever put into words.  Thanks to social media, I’ve been able to watch my couples buy new homes, welcome new babies, graduate from college, welcome more babies and remain a part of their lives.  I’ve gotten a couple of very sad cards and calls from those who have lost their loved ones – and I’m flattered beyond belief that they thought to call/write so I would know of the loss.   After all, I’m just the wedding venue coordinator, right?

My venue just turned 100 years old.  It’s not the most perfect venue; it’s got 100 years of wear, tear and Arizona summers under its belt.  But it’s full of love.  And I mean full.  We named the business after Virginia Hook – the sweet elderly lady that we purchased her home from.  We kept in touch with her until her death just a few years ago.  In our early years, she wanted me to call before every wedding so she could talk to our brides – she told them loved lived here and they could take some with them.  Her family has been here and held events here.  They said, “I knew you would be here” when I showed up at her funeral.

We’ve touched every single corner of this historic house, we’ve lovingly restored every single corner of it, and because it’s 100 years old – that process never ends.  It’s also my home.  We live above “the shop” and we’ve raised our family here.  We’re not going anywhere.  It’s not just a job, it’s our life.  And we have saved this gem of a home from the wrecking ball.  It’s going to take a pretty big army of men to drag me away from here.  I’ve invested blood, sweat, tears and my family.  Who could walk away from that?  Not me.So… if you know someone who had their venue pull the rug out from under them – send them my way.  I won’t add insult to injury.  And I’ll love them like my own.

Wedding receptions and going-away parties don’t mix

She loved him.  It was obvious that she did.  And he loved her.  It was awe-inspiring to see.  It made those around them believe in love all over again.  They had worked together at an engineering firm for years.  They knew each other very well and had a great life planned with each other.  However, there was one slight problem… he took another job with an oil company and was being relocated to Oklahoma.  This put the wedding plans into high gear after she agreed to move with him.

Their wedding planning had a few hiccoughs in it.  Their original venue had double booked their date and sent them packing with only a few months to plan another event.  I got a panicked call from a bride on the edge, but we got them squeezed in and everything was back on track.  Not only were they planning a wedding, they were planning a major move and major change in their lives – all at the same time.  Normally one of these would put the bravest of women hiding under the bed, coming out only to pee and restock the chocolate supply.  She was doing a good job keeping everything together, yet moving forward at the same time.

The wedding was beautiful.  The bride blushing.  The groom doting.  The food was delicious.  The cake was an attraction.  The DJ was keeping the mood festive.   Everyone was having a great time – especially the bride and groom.

Then the first guest left.

It happens.  The babysitter is getting paid by the hour.  Someone has to get up early in the morning, so they cut the evening short.  There’s any number of reasons that people will leave a wedding reception early.  But it happened.  And it was a shock.

It wasn’t a shock to me or the guests leaving, but to the bride, it marked the beginning of the end.  She clung to them like they were life vests on a treacherous sea.  Then the tears.  And more tears.  And yet more tears.

The party went on, yet the party was over.  At least for the bride.  She stood by the gate as each guest tried to leave and hung on them with the fervor of the first victim.  I was heartbroken for her.  It was horribly sad to watch.

Not knowing what to do, I went to tell the groom what was happening.  Apparently it was too much for him, too, but didn’t want to be taken away from HIS friends.

So, this lovely, sweet couple that had the wedding day of their dreams – then suffered major heartbreak that night as they said good-bye to everyone.  I’m sure it seemed like a good idea at the time, but as it turned out – it wasn’t such a good idea after all.

Old houses tend to sit in old neighborhoods

It’s true!  Old houses DO sit in old neighborhoods.  And sometimes those old neighborhoods look much worse than they are…

Virginia’s House, the historic CH Tinker home is no exception.  It was the original home built in this neighborhood in 1913 – in fact, it’s legal description is “orchard lot 1”.  Many homes were built in the decades to follow using materials not typically used any more – mostly wood siding (the Arizona sun is too hard on it).  Add 99 years, multiple economic swings, newer neighborhoods being built further out and these little, tiny, wood sided homes become obsolete.  They also become “ugly” to those who are used to looking at large, rambling, stucco, new-builds.  And after 60, 70 or even 80 years of being “not good enough”, they start to look pretty bad.

I have had several potential customers do what we refer to as “drive-bys”… meaning they find us online, fall in love with our photos and great reviews, set-up an appointment, drive into the area, then change their mind and leave me waiting without coming in.  To these folks, I apologize.  To others that haven’t made that drive yet, I ask you to come inside.

The CH Tinker home was built with all of the opulence of 1913 – complete with a music parlor, butler’s pantry, built-in china cabinet and electric lights – all of which are still intact.  The home itself is just under 3,000 square feet – a good-sized home for current standards; a mansion at 1913 standards.  My husband and I have spent the last 15 years lovingly restoring this home – not renovating – restoring.  Restoration is a laborious task that requires more attention than gutting and replacing, not to mention more time and money.  We have done our level best to return this beautiful home to it’s original splendor.

As of this writing, I have been in business for almost 14 years.  It’s a business I started from nothing, but an old house and a dream and grew it into many happy occasions and lifelong friendships with my brides, their families and friends.  Many people may not know this, but it is also my home – we have lived here since 1997 and I have raised my two children here.  As hard as I try not to take it personally – sometimes I still do.  I have labored over, celebrated and cried into every corner and crevice of this home.  I have befriended my elderly neighbors and buried most of them.  I was their breath of fresh air when we purchased the property and gave them hope for new things to come. Virginia’s House has been good to me.  And them.  And I want it to be good to you.

So I ask you this… we have been told all through our lives not to judge a book by its cover.  I would ask that you not judge THIS book by the other books on the shelf.  There’s a great story written here and I’d like to add your chapter.

Bachelor parties the night before the wedding are a BAD idea

I’m sure you’ve all heard the horror stories of groomsmen putting the drunken groom on a train and he wakes up hundreds of miles and hours away from his bride.  We’ve all heard the stories of new tattoos, indelible marker and broken noses from bar fights.  Urban legends?  Maybe.  Although it doesn’t happen often – it does happen.

Just this season, I had a bride show up in a beat up car I had never seen her in before.  She was moody and cranky when she got out of the car.  She was quick to tell me she wasn’t mad at me, but that I had no idea what she had been through.  (Honestly, I thought it was the usual last minute bride stuff where you simply run out of time and forget to go to sleep that night.)

She then proceeded to tell me of her 3am phone call from a local law enforcement officer.  He wanted to know if she was getting married that morning.  She said yes.  The officer told her that he had arrested the groom for DUI (driving under the influence of alcohol) and that he had been yelling from the back seat about not going to jail, he was getting married in a few hours.  He just wanted to verify the story.

When she verified the story, the officer (obviously a softie) asked if she would be willing to take responsibility for him and he would not take him to jail.  However, her car (that the groom was driving) had already been towed.  And he would still have a DUI on record and have to see the judge early Monday morning.

After this close call with the law, the bride was now stuck with a drunk, slobbery man afraid that she was either going to kill him or not marry him.  (I actually think he was unable to decide which would be worse.)  He kept her up for the rest of the night begging her to marry him and asking her if she was going to leave him at the altar.

As it turns out – he sobered up and she showed up.  And a good time was had by all.

Sometimes it’s hard for adults to act like adults

It’s true.  Sometimes we put too much faith in the belief that adults will act like adults.  We don’t take into consideration heartbreaks, family fights, or general personality disorders.

We had a gorgeous bride and a doting groom.  It was a wintertime wedding with sparkly things everywhere.  The bride was wrapped in a beautiful faux fur shrug and looked like a million bucks.  Her groom couldn’t keep his eyes off his beautiful bride.  The photographer was trying to capture all this love and beauty to be cherished forever by setting up a family picture.

It was a medium-sized group and the photographer was doing her level best to get everyone in the frame.  She moved and adjusted and got everyone where they needed to be.  She then invited the groom’s dad to remove his Blu-Blocker sunglasses and his Bluetooth for the picture.  He said no.  Then the bride (very gently) asked him please remove it just for the picture.  That’s when the earth cracked…

The groom’s dad called the bride some very inappropriate and somewhat colorful names because of her request.  The groom quickly told his father not to speak to his wife that way.  And almost immediately, the groomsmen grabbed him by his short hairs and dragged him to the gate.

My staff and the couples’ guests were stunned for what seemed like a few minutes, but I’m sure it was only seconds.  As the venue owner, I was glad that someone else was taking care of removing him – I didn’t want to worry about him for the rest of the evening.   But one of my staff members – having a cooler head than mine – followed them out and removed the groomsmen from his neck.  She explained life to him as best as she could and asked him to rethink his departure.  She also put him on notice that if he acted up again that the police would be his next escort off the property.

(Side note – his Bluetooth had dialed my desk phone in the melee and my voice mail had recorded the entire incident.)

The groom’s dad sat very quietly and obediently at his table for the rest of the evening.  Not sure if he was embarrassed or scared.  Either way – he wasn’t invited into any more photos and I don’t believe he danced with the bride.

Note to self:  Some things you just can’t take back, no matter if you felt justified at the time.  Wedding days should be off-limits for outbursts.  If you can’t act like an adult, get a babysitter.

Check it off the list

Our bride was meticulous in her planning.  We had several meetings on how things would go.  We discussed color in depth and carried color swatches out into the sun to make sure they were still the same color.  The rehearsal was carried out with military precision and the ‘to do’ lists were distributed to each bridesmaid and groomsman after the rehearsal with stern words on how they were to be carried out.  Don’t get me wrong, the bride was not a bridezilla on any level.  She knew what she wanted and delegated with the efficiency of upper management.  She was very sweet to work with and had a handle on everything.

Fast forward to her wedding day…. Bridesmaids arrive and immediately jump into the functions of getting dressed in the bride’s room.  The groomsmen arrive, diligently sporting the items they were enlisted to provide.  The musicians, minister, photographer, etc. were all filing in at their designated times.  As the coordinator, I was keeping my finger on the multiple pulses going on around the property.  But the one heartbeat missing was the bride’s.  Without sounding any alarms, I would casually ask the bridesmaids if anyone had heard from her.  No.  I asked the groomsmen if everything was going okay.  Yes.  The bride’s parents arrived.  No bride.  I asked if they knew where she was.  No.

The buzz of the day continued moving on and getting louder with every passing minute.  Once again, I started the rounds of asking if anyone had heard from her.  I called her cell phone.  No answer.  Now I’m starting to wonder if she’s coming at all.  And if not, why?  Did she run?   Did something terrible happen?  Should I sound the alarms?

The wedding start time was approaching quickly.  The clock ticked louder and louder in my head, yet nobody seemed alarmed at all that the bride was nowhere to be found.

It’s 6pm.  Start time.  Now we’re at critical mass.  I’m standing in the main room wondering what my next move is… Do I go to the groom and tell him his bride isn’t here?  Do I ask the bridesmaids one more time to call her? Do I put her mother into a panic by suggesting that something might be wrong?  Then something moved out of the corner of my eye.  I turned my head towards it.  I bent down to get a better look out of the front window.  There it was.  A big yellow taxi.  And a VERY mad bride.

Before I could formulate a sentence, she barreled through the door, two fists full of wedding gown and said, “Let’s do this before I change my mind.”  I do not exaggerate when I tell you she flew out of the taxi and directly down the aisle.

I’m stunned beyond words.  What the heck just happened?  Had I crossed into the Twilight Zone? As it turns out, she hadn’t added “get the bride to the venue” on anyone’s list.  Therefore, nobody did. Problem was, the list had things like ‘pick up car, take to hotel’, ‘cell phones are off limits’ and other similar ‘dos & don’ts’.  The car had been picked up and dropped off at the hotel.  And the cell phones had been promptly turned off when they arrived at the venue – rendering the bride’s calls for help completely useless.  No car. No phone. No clue what to do next.  Next idea?  Call a taxi.  Then wait.   Now… who gets to be mad at whom?  I don’t think there’s a flowchart for that one.

Lists… they can be good for keeping order and useful tools.  They can also turn the best of intentions into the worst of outcomes.  Use them wisely.

Choosing a Wedding Venue: Renter or Owner?

You’ve probably heard that there is a recession going on. Those of us providing wedding services have also experienced a direct hit with the shifting of the mood — and with many wedding planning traditions. Couples planning weddings are becoming afraid to plan ahead for fear that the very services and resources they are contracting for (and paying deposits for) will disappear before the big day. Unfortunately, it is a fear that often becomes a reality.

It has become accepted wisdom to plan early and book well ahead of time, especially when it comes to a couple’s choice of venue. However, the shaky economy has claimed many victims, including many owners of buildings and facilities that offered settings for weddings. If a wedding venue occupies a rented space, and the landlord does not or cannot pay the mortgage on the property in question, a wedding venue operator who is completely current on the rent (paid to the landlord, who hasn’t paid the mortgage) can find the door locked on even the most thriving of businesses. It is a scene that is becoming more and more familiar to frantic brides and grooms, and one that is causing couples to be understandably reluctant to tie up precious wedding money in advance deposits, and so forth.

The “pay but no payback” phenomenon is not just peculiar to wedding venues, either. Bridal shops are closing by the dozens, and dresses are being held hostage while wedding dates come and go, and financial messes are sorted out. It is small comfort to a bride to learn that she may eventually get pennies on the dollar back for a dress that she already considered her own, and that clearly was not. Florists, wedding cake bakers, and caterers have also staggered under the realities of the recession.

For the last couple of years, Virginia’s House has offered sympathy and surroundings for couples battered by a variety of unforeseen problems : a venue burned down, another was foreclosed on, and several simply posted “Closed” signs on their doors and turned off the lights. At the risk of sounding somewhat indelicate, we want to say plainly that although we are not immune from forces of nature, we can assure a couple that because we actually own the structure that is Virginia’s House and make the mortgage payments ourselves, you can be assured that the only sign on our door will say, “Welcome.”

You are safe planning your wedding with us, and entrusting us with one of the most important events of your life. When we say “our door is always open,” we mean exactly that.